Your Mind Moves You Away from Pain and Towards Pleasure

Your mind is hardwired for survival, not success. It has one main job: to keep you safe.

If, at any point in your life, confidence became linked to pain—like being laughed at for speaking up in class, being rejected in a relationship, or failing publicly—your mind will remember. It logs that experience as “danger” and works hard to prevent you from experiencing it again.

So when you try to step into confidence, your mind steps in to protect you by holding you back, keeping you small, quiet, or invisible.

This isn’t weakness—it’s conditioning. But it can be changed.

To rewire this association, you need to reframe confidence as pleasurable, rewarding, and safe.

Start by asking yourself: What will I gain when I show up confidently in my life? Think about the warmth of honest conversations when you're no longer afraid to speak your truth. Imagine the career opportunities that open up when you believe in your worth and communicate it with ease.

Feel the deep sense of self-respect that grows every time you back yourself, even when it’s uncomfortable.

These are real, tangible pleasures—authentic connection, professional growth, and personal pride. When you consistently link confidence with these positive outcomes, your mind begins to re-categorise it as something beneficial, not dangerous.

You can even close your eyes for a few moments each day and vividly visualise these rewards: see yourself walking into a room with ease, speaking clearly and being met with respect; see yourself saying no with grace or yes with courage. The more emotionally charged and detailed these visions are, the more your mind believes, “This is safe. This feels good. I want more of this.”

Confidence becomes something you lean into—not something you run from.

With Love

Stela@silavita